benefits of regular sex

British researchers have determined that the equivalent of six Big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for a year. Muscular contractions during intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax. Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men's Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented.

• Reduced depression: A study of 293 women in 2002 had the same implications. American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.
• Pain relief: Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This, in turn, releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headaches to arthritis to even migraines. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.
• Less frequent colds and flu: Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30 percent higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.
• Better bladder control: Heard of Kegel exercises? You do them, whether you know it or not, every time you stem your flow of urine. The same set of muscles is worked during sex.
• Better teeth: Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to hinder tooth decay. Since this is a family web site, we will omit discussion of the mineral delivery system. Suffice it to say that it could be a far richer, more complex and more satisfying experience than squeezing a tube of Crest — even Tartar Control Crest. Researchers have noted, parenthetically, that sexual etiquette usually demands the brushing of one's teeth before and/or after intimacy, which, by itself, would help promote better oral hygiene.
• A happier prostate? Some urologists believe they see a relationship between infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate. The causal argument goes like this: To produce seminal fluid, the prostate and the seminal vesicles take such substances from the blood as zinc, citric acid and potassium, and then concentrate them up to 600 times. Any carcinogens present in the blood likewise would be concentrated. Rather than have concentrated carcinogens hanging around causing trouble, it's better to evict them. A study published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce, by a third, their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week.

While possession of a robust appetite for sex — and the physical ability to gratify it — may not always be the cynosure of perfect health, a reluctance to engage can be a sign that something is seriously on the fritz, especially where the culprit is an infirm erection.

Can you have too much?
Dr. J. Francois Eid, a urologist with Weill Medical College of Cornell University and New York Presbyterian Hospital, observes that erectile dysfunction is an extension of the vascular system. A lethargic member may be telling you that you have diseased blood vessels elsewhere in your body. "It could be a first sign of hypertension or diabetes or increased cholesterol levels. It's a red flag that you should see your doctor." Treatment and exercise, says Dr. Eid, can have things looking up again: "Men who exercise and have a good heart and low heart rate, and who are cardio-fit, have firmer erections. There very definitely is a relationship."

But is there such a thing as too much sex?

The answer, in purely physiological terms, is this: If you're female, probably not. If you're male? You betcha.

Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman's tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture.

As for men, urologist Eid says it's definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than what may actually be good for them.

The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you'd just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.

"I see it in pro football players," says Eid. "They use Viagra because they're so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It's part of playing football: you play through the pain." This type of guy doesn't listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone, and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion."

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sex does the body good

The best that modern science can say for abstinence is that it's harmless when practiced in moderation. "Saving yourself" before the big game, the big business deal, the big hoe-down or the big bakeoff may indeed confer some moral advantage; but physiologically it does zip.

Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, be you male or female. (This assumes that you are engaging in sex without contracting a sexually transmitted disease.)

In one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency, Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study was designed to compare people of similar age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards. Other studies (some rigorous, some less so) purport to show that having sex even a few times a week has an associative or causal relationship with the following:

• Improved sense of smell: After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges. This, in turn, causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain's olfactory bulb, its smell center.
• Reduced risk of heart disease: In a 2001 follow-up to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.
• Weight loss, overall fitness: Sex, if nothing else, is exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories — about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill or playing a spirited game of squash. The pulse rate, in a person aroused, rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort.

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know yourself.....man

Your penis is multipurpose, responsible for sexual pleasure, reproduction, and secretion of both urine and semen. The end of the penis, called the glans, contains the urethral opening that allows urine and semen to pass from the body. In uncircumcised men, an additional layer of skin covers the glans, and is referred to as the foreskin.

The main part of your penis is called the shaft, and the raised ridge that separates the shaft from the glans is called the corona. The entire penis is sensitive, but the glans and the corona are really sensitive. An erection occurs when your penis becomes stimulated, filling with blood and expanding. Though true of many other species, the human penis does not contain a bone.

Male Reproductive organs (side-view)

Male Reproductive organs (close-up)

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sexual arousal

Sexual arousal is the arousal of sexual desires in anticipation for sexual activity. Things that precipitate human sexual arousal are colloquially known as turn-ons. Sexual arousal usually leads to physiological changes in the aroused person, some of which are pronounced while others are more subtle.

People can be sexually aroused by different things and in a variety of situations. An arousal may be physical or mental in nature. A person may be sexually aroused by another person or by particular aspects of that person (eg.: hair color, build, smell, smile, etc) or by a non-human object.

When a person is sexually aroused by another person, it may be seen as an indicator of that person's sexual orientation. When sexual arousal is achieved by or dependent on the use of objects, it is referred to as sexual fetishism. This also includes sexual arousal which arises from another person's body part.

Most people are sexually aroused by a physical stimulation of an erogenous area, especially if it is accompanied with the anticipation of imminent sexual activity.

In addition, some people may find nudity, erotica and pornography sexually arousing, though what aspect different people find arousing will vary. Most heterosexual males are visually stimulated by female nudity or partial nudity, while some heterosexual females are stimulated by the state of romance with their partner.^[1] According to the marital and sex therapist, David Schnarch, intimacy, the honest portrayal of the two people joining in the sexual act, may lead to a heightened state of passion in sex, including sexual arousal.^[2] Such sexual arousal may not lead to an actual sexual activity, beyond a mental arousal. In a 2004 study at Northwestern University, the female participants (both heterosexual and homosexual women) became sexually aroused when they viewed straight as well as lesbian erotic films. Among the male participants, however, the heterosexual men were turned on only by erotic films showing women; the gay males were aroused only by films showing men. The study's senior researcher said that women's sexual desire is less rigidly directed toward a particular gender, as compared with men's; and women's desire is more changeable over time.^[3]

Sexual arousal may also be assisted by a romantic setting, music, or other soothing situations.

Given the right stimulation, sexual arousal in humans will typically end in an orgasm, but may be pursued for its own sake, even in the absence of an orgasm.

Some people may experience a sexual arousal disorder. This may be characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity for a period of time. This may be caused by a mental disorder, such as depression, a drug (legal or illegal), or some other medical condition. The lack of sexual arousal may be due to a general lack of sexual desire or due to a lack of sexual desire for the current partner. The lack of desire may be acquired (i.e. it may have started after a period of normal sexual functioning) or life-long (the person has always had no/low sexual desire).

Unlike most animals, human beings of both sexes are potentially capable of sexual arousal throughout the year; therefore, there is no human mating season.

Sexual arousal for a man is usually indicated by the swelling and erection of the penis. This is usually the most prominent and reliable sign of sexual arousal in males; however, adolescent males experience 'non-sexual' erections stemming from high levels of testosterone.
In a woman, sexual arousal usually leads to vaginal lubrication in anticipation of sexual intercourse. Sexual arousal causes different physical changes.

Female sexual arousal. In the left image female genitalia are in normal state. In the right image the female is sexually aroused, the vulva is wet and the labia are slightly engorged.

• Increase in breast size
• Erection of nipples^[4]
• Vaginal lubrication
• Vasocongestion of the vaginal walls
• Tumescence and erection of the clitoris and labia
• Elevation of the cervix and uterus, and expansion of the back of the vagina
• Change in shape, color and size of the labia majora and labia minora
• Pupil dilation

Male sexual arousal.

• Penile tumescence and erection
• The veins in the penis may become more prominent
• Retraction and tightening of the foreskin, often exposing the glans penis if not normally exposed (unless the particular male is circumcised)
• Emission of pre-ejaculatory fluid
• Swelling of the testes
• Ascension of the testes
• Tensing and thickening of the scrotum
• Pupil dilation

know yourself.....woman

Female Sexual Organs

Female sexual organs are both inside and outside your body. The clitoris, mons pubis, inner and outer lips, and the vaginal opening are outside, and as a group are called the vulva. A lot of people confuse the vulva with the vagina. The vulva is the outside part, and the vagina is on the inside. The shape, look and colour of the vulva differs from one woman to the next.

Female Reproductive Organs (Close-up view)

Female Pelvis - Side View

Female Genitals

Hymen: As fetuses, all females have a membrane that covers the opening to the vagina. Usually this membrane dissolves away before you are born leaving only a small rim around the opening to the vagina (the hymen). In some women, the membrane is only partially dissolved, and there is a partial blockage of the vaginal opening that may make it difficult to insert or remove tampons and may tear slightly to create sufficient space for the penis during the first attempt to have sexual intercourse.

heal your relationship

A healthy relationship makes you feel good about yourself and your partner. You have fun together and you and your partner can be yourselves. All relationships are different, but healthy relationships share at least five things in common - the S.H.A.R.E. qualities.

1. Safety: In a healthy relationship, you feel safe. You don't have to worry that your partner will harm you physically or emotionally, and you aren't tempted to harm them. You can change your mind about something - like having sex - without being afraid of how your partner will respond.
2. Honesty: You don't hide anything important from your partner, and can say what you think without fear of being ridiculed. You can admit to being wrong, and you resolve disagreements by talking honestly.
3. Acceptance: You accept each other as you are. You appreciate your partner's unique qualities, such as shyness or spaceyness, and don't try to "fix" them. If you don't like your partner's qualities, you shouldn't be with that person.
4. Respect: You think highly of each other. You do not feel superior or inferior to your partner in important ways. You respect each other's right to have separate opinions and ideas.
5. Enjoyment: A good relationship is not just about how two people treat each other - it also has to be enjoyable. (If it's not enjoyable, why bother?) In a healthy relationship, you feel energized and alive in your partner's presence. You can play and laugh together. You have fun.

The opposite of a healthy relationship is an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships revolve around control, fear, and lack of respect. Usually, one partner has control while the other cowers in resentment or fear. Abusive relationships can involve threats, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, jealous questioning, and outright violence.

If you suspect you're in an abusive relationship, there's a good chance you are. Perhaps you know deep down that you'd be better off without the relationship but are afraid to leave it. If that's the case, get help from a parent, school counselor, doctor, psychologist, social worker or anyone else you trust. Your doctor or local/regional sexual clinic can steer you toward appropriate counseling services.

Being in an abusive relationship hurts your self-esteem. You owe it to yourself to to get out.

Health benefits of sex

Sex as exercise burns calories to produce health benefits. Sex relieves stress, boosts the immune system with higher levels of immunoglobulin A, improves cardiovascular health, increases self-esteem, improves intimacy, reduces pain by production of the hormone oxytocin, reduces the risk of prostate cancer, strengthens pelvic muscles, and promotes good sleep. In addition, sex improves the sense of smell and urinary bladder control.

According to researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal Biological Psychology, a significant health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction. They studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. The researchers subjected the men and women to stressful situations, such as speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic, and noted their blood pressure response to stress. The men and women who had intercourse responded more positively to stress "than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained". Researchers found that another study published in the same journal documented frequent intercourse as being associated with lower diastolic blood pressure in cohabiting participants, though other research "found a link between partner hugs and lower blood pressure in women".

People who have a "good and healthy sex life" may improve their body's immune system. Those who engage in sex once or twice a week have been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect the body from getting colds and other infections. "Scientists at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., took samples of saliva, which contain IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had." The college students in the "frequent" group had higher levels of IgA than those in the other three groups consisting of people who were celibate, had sex less than once a week, or had it "very often" (three or more times weekly).

Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. While not seemingly a significant amount, 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, which is sufficient enough to lose a pound. A person can drop the pound in 21 hour-long sessions.[26] "Sex is a great mode of exercise," notes a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists."It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well."

"Boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex, collected by University of Texas researchers and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior."[26] In response to the findings, one researcher adds that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to "feel even better". People have sex to feel good about themselves.

Sexual intimacy, as well as orgasms, increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, also known as "the love hormone" which helps people bond and build trust.Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill "evaluated 59 premenopausal women before and after warm contact with their husbands and partners ending with hugs. They found that the more contact, the higher the oxytocin levels". Oxytocin allows people to feel the urge to nurture and to bond.[ Generosity has also been credited and linked to a higher level of oxytocin. In addition, as the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase, and pain declines. "In a study published in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, 48 volunteers who inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked lowered their pain threshold by more than half." The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research.

Men who have frequent ejaculations, especially men in their 20s, may reduce their risks of prostate cancer later in life. Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International that they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without. They found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s, but men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third.[26] Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, "found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly".

During sex, pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels offer benefits for women. More sexual pleasure is expected to result, strengthening of the area, and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life.

In contrast to its benefits, sexual behavior can be a disease vector. Safe sex is a relevant harm reduction philosophy. In addition, pregnancy is noted for its significant risks.

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Health benefits of sex

Sex as exercise burns calories to produce health benefits. Sex relieves stress, boosts the immune system with higher levels of immunoglobulin A, improves cardiovascular health, increases self-esteem, improves intimacy, reduces pain by production of the hormone oxytocin, reduces the risk of prostate cancer, strengthens pelvic muscles, and promotes good sleep. In addition, sex improves the sense of smell and urinary bladder control.

According to researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal Biological Psychology, a significant health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction. They studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. The researchers subjected the men and women to stressful situations, such as speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic, and noted their blood pressure response to stress. The men and women who had intercourse responded more positively to stress "than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained". Researchers found that another study published in the same journal documented frequent intercourse as being associated with lower diastolic blood pressure in cohabiting participants, though other research "found a link between partner hugs and lower blood pressure in women".

People who have a "good and healthy sex life" may improve their body's immune system. Those who engage in sex once or twice a week have been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect the body from getting colds and other infections. "Scientists at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., took samples of saliva, which contain IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had." The college students in the "frequent" group had higher levels of IgA than those in the other three groups consisting of people who were celibate, had sex less than once a week, or had it "very often" (three or more times weekly).

Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. While not seemingly a significant amount, 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, which is sufficient enough to lose a pound. A person can drop the pound in 21 hour-long sessions.[26] "Sex is a great mode of exercise," notes a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists."It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well."

"Boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex, collected by University of Texas researchers and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior."[26] In response to the findings, one researcher adds that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to "feel even better". People have sex to feel good about themselves.

Sexual intimacy, as well as orgasms, increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, also known as "the love hormone" which helps people bond and build trust.Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill "evaluated 59 premenopausal women before and after warm contact with their husbands and partners ending with hugs. They found that the more contact, the higher the oxytocin levels". Oxytocin allows people to feel the urge to nurture and to bond.[ Generosity has also been credited and linked to a higher level of oxytocin. In addition, as the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase, and pain declines. "In a study published in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, 48 volunteers who inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked lowered their pain threshold by more than half." The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research.

Men who have frequent ejaculations, especially men in their 20s, may reduce their risks of prostate cancer later in life. Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International that they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without. They found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s, but men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third.[26] Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, "found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly".

During sex, pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels offer benefits for women. More sexual pleasure is expected to result, strengthening of the area, and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life.

In contrast to its benefits, sexual behavior can be a disease vector. Safe sex is a relevant harm reduction philosophy. In addition, pregnancy is noted for its significant risks.

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sexual difficulties

Anorgasmia is regular difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation, causing personal distress. The physical structure of the act of coitus favors penile stimulation over clitoral stimulation. The location of the clitoris then often necessitates manual stimulation in order for the female to achieve orgasm. About 15 percent of women report difficulties with orgasm, and as many as 10 percent of women in the United States have never climaxed. Even women who orgasm regularly only climax about 50 percent to 70 percent of the time.

Some males suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED), or impotence, at least occasionally. For those whose impotence is caused by medical conditions, prescription drugs such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra are available. However, doctors caution against the unnecessary use of these drugs because they are accompanied by serious risks such as increased chance of heart attack. Moreover, using a drug to counteract the symptom—impotence—can mask the underlying problem causing the impotence and does not resolve it. A serious medical condition might be aggravated if left untreated.

A more common sexual disorder in males is premature ejaculation (PE). The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is examining the drug dapoxetine to treat premature ejaculation. In clinical trials, those with PE who took dapoxetine experienced intercourse three to four times longer before orgasm than without the drug. Another ejaculation-related disorder is delayed ejaculation, which can be caused as an unwanted side effect of antidepressant medications such as Fluvoxamine.

The American Urological Association (AUA) estimates that premature ejaculation could affect 27 to 34 percent of men in the United States. The AUA also estimates that 10 to 12 percent of men in the United States are affected by erectile dysfunction. Vaginismus is involuntary tensing of the pelvic floor musculature, making coitus distressing, painful, and sometimes impossible. Dyspareunia is a medical term signifying painful or uncomfortable intercourse, but does not specify the cause.

Although disability-related pain and mobility impairment can hamper intercourse, in many cases the most significant impediments to intercourse for individuals with a disability are psychological. In particular, people who have a disability can find intercourse daunting due to issues involving their self-concept as a sexual being, or partner's discomfort or perceived discomfort

Temporary difficulties can arise with alcohol and sex as alcohol initially increases interest (through disinhibition) but decreases capacity with greater intake.

understanding Sexuality 2

Sexual intercourse, also known as copulation or coitus, commonly refers to the act in which the male reproductive organ (penis) enters the female reproductive tract (vagina).The two entities may be of opposite sexes, or they may be hermaphroditic, as is the case with snails. In recent years, penetration of non-sexual organs (oral intercourse, anal intercourse) (fingering, fisting) (blowjob and cunninlingus) are also sometimes included in this definition. Traditionally, intercourse has been viewed as the natural endpoint of all sexual contact between a man and a woman

Non-penetrative sexual contacts and mutual masturbation (oral sex may or may not be penetrative) have been referred to as "outercourse".The word sex, in the context of sexual intimacy, is often, if not universally, understood to include any mutual genital stimulation, i.e. both intercourse and outercourse.

Vaginal sexual intercourse, also called coitus, is the human form of copulation. While a purpose and effect is reproduction, it is often performed exclusively for pleasure and/or as an expression of love and emotional intimacy. Sexual intercourse typically plays a powerful bonding role; in many societies it is normal for couples to have frequent intercourse while using birth control, sharing pleasure and strengthening their emotional bond through sex even though they are deliberately avoiding pregnancy.

Sexual intercourse may also be defined as referring to other forms of insertive sexual behavior, such as oral sex and anal intercourse. The phrase to have sex can mean any or all of these behaviors, as well as other non-penetrative sex acts not considered here.

Coitus should be preceded by foreplay if real pleasure is to be derived, which leads to sexual arousal of the partners, resulting in the erection of the penis and natural lubrication of the vagina.

To engage in coitus, the erect penis is inserted into the vagina and one or both of the partners move their hips to move the penis backward and forward inside the vagina to cause friction, typically without fully removing the penis. In this way, they stimulate themselves and each other, often continuing until orgasm in either or both partners is achieved. Penetration by the hardened erect penis is also known as intromission, or by the Latin name immissio penis (Latin for "insertion of the penis").

Coitus is the basic reproductive method of humans. During ejaculation, which usually accompanies male orgasm, a series of muscular contractions delivers semen containing male gametes known as sperm cells or spermatozoa from the penis into the vagina.

The subsequent route of the sperm from the vault of the vagina is through the cervix and into the uterus, and then into the fallopian tubes. Millions of sperm are present in each ejaculation, to increase the chances of one fertilizing an egg or ovum. When a fertile ovum from the female is present in the fallopian tubes, the male gamete joins with the ovum, resulting in fertilization and the formation of a new embryo. When a fertilized ovum reaches the uterus, it becomes implanted in the lining of the uterus, known as endometrium, and a pregnancy begins.

Unlike most species, human sexual activity is not linked to periods of estrus and can take place at any time during the reproductive cycle, even during pregnancy.



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understanding Sexuality

Sex can be pretty confusing. You may have been told that sex is a sacred act between two married people who love each other very much. But then you turn on your TV and you see quite a different story - people using sex to earn their living, people having casual or meaningless sex, using it to get revenge or to control people, or using it to advertise everything from soft drinks to vacuum cleaners.

The point is, there's a lot of bad information floating around about sex. But the fact that majority are doing it does not make it right. And while you may have already had "The Sex Talk" with your parents, you may still have a few questions. Your parents, your pastor, your teachers or your doctor would likely be happy to answer your questions, but let's face it, some of this stuff can be pretty embarrassing; But the TRUTH remains that ''Sex Is Sacred and is meant to be between husband and wife who are married''. The wrong use of it may result to fatal destiny distortion and eternal regret in life; many folks that are supposed to be great men and women in various field of life today had been reduced to nonentity by the wrong use of sex. Many families, marriages, establishments of various kind had crashed because of the wrong use of sex.

Wet Dreams
Sexy dreams can cause a guy to have an erection and ejaculate, or cum, during his sleep. When he wakes up, he's wet and sticky. This is a wet dream. The same occurs in girls, but the amount of moisture they produce is much less, and therefore it's not as noticeable. Wet dreams are pretty common at young age, but they don't happen to everybody, so don't worry if it doesn't happen to you.
Please don't misunderstand wet dreams and real sexual intercourse in the dreams, sexual intercourse in the dream can mean spiritual danger to the person involved. Therefore it is the best to be having sex in the dreams. This affects male and female.

Fantasies
Fantasies are a safe way to explore your sexual desires. They're not weird, everybody has them and they don't make you a "pervert", so don't feel guilty about having them. But be careful, fantasizing about the opposite sex may lead to sexual misconduct in the nearest future. Fantasies help you learn more about yourself and your romantic feelings, without having to act on them. They help you figure out what turns you on and what you're comfortable with. You can learn a lot from fantasies - what you want to do and what you don't - but a lot of fantasies will just stay as fantasies. It's normal for people to fantasize about things that they wouldn't be comfortable doing in real life. Or your fantasies can set the stage for real-life situations, and prepare you to act in a way that is true to yourself. They allow you to imagine having sex...without any of the real-life consequences.

In some cases, your fantasies may become too big a part of your day.and you may spend more time in your head than on earth. Or, your fantasies become so life-like that you find it hard to hold back from trying them out in real life. In these situations, it may help to talk to someone you trust to help sort out your feelings. Like i warned, ''be careful and put your feelings under adequate check.

The Bottom Line
Do what you need to do to answer your questions. Read books, fantasize, and ask a trusted friend lots of questions. Or if you're comfortable, you can talk to your doctor, a school nurse, or a pharmacists - remember, unless you are in danger or have broken the law, whatever you talk about with your health care provider is confidential. Just remember that getting answers to your questions will help you grow as a healthy, mature sexual being.

You might find it embarrassing to ask questions about sex, but just think: If and when you decide to have sex, don't you want to be sure that you've done your homework? If you think it's embarrassing to ask questions now, just think how embarrassing it would be later when you could not perform your sexual responsibility to your spouse!

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the place of communication

Communication in a marriage is absolutely essential. If communication breaks down between married persons, the marriage may appear to be doomed to fail. Many people don't know the basics of good communication, and it is very easy for it to break down during a fight.

You have a need to be loved, and your husband may not be meeting it. The truth is that he might either not know how intense your need is or he might not be aware that he isn't meeting it! The key is to respectfully convey your need to him in order to get it met.

Try "XYZ statements."

"When X happens, I feel Y when you Z."

These are also known as "I statements."

The point is that you don't put the person to whom you are speaking "on the spot." You take the pressure off of them by making the statement about you and how you feel. For example, my husband and I have been arguing about which cell phone service we should have. He is arguing that we shouldn't have a cell phone at all, and I feel that we should, but opt for the cheapest plan possible. Because he is the head of our household and makes the decisions, he's put his foot down. I'm feeling frustrated, unheard and unloved. So I say something like this:

"When we're discussing an issue, I feel unheard and unloved when you don't listen to my point of view. Would you please hear what I have to say about why I feel we need a cell phone?"

This very often helps to cool down an argument as well as making the other person more receptive to hearing what you have to say.

It is also worth pointing out that most men will hear the words "would you" as more respectful than "could you" and you should always try to use the grammatically correct words in this case as it will effect the way he hears what you're saying to him!

make him love you

I think that women go through various stages in their relationship when they first begin to see it failing. They start out with "what's wrong with me? Why isn't he being loving towards me?" and progress to "what's wrong with him? Why doesn't he love me?" and finally "God, make him love me!"

For those who can relate to the last of the above statements, please do bear in mind that God doesn't quite work that way. He isn't going to interfere with the free will of the individual. He isn't going to "make" your husband love you. He may soften your husband's heart towards you, and He may open your husband's eyes to your need for affection, but He isn't going to force your husband to do something.

You, likewise, can't "make your husband love you." What you can do is provide the right environment in which he can shine and therefore be a better partner in life and a better lover to you.

Please note that the following is based on the common thinking patterns of men and women. There are, as always, exceptions to the rules!

Don't be too Quick to Judge Your Husband

Many women are too quick to judge their husbands. Unless your marriage is in very serious trouble and communication has broken down beyond repair, your husband would very likely, if asked, tell a stranger that he does love you. He most likely would be telling the truth.

Men and women don't view love in the same way. Women see love as an action: your husband loves you when he takes the time to give you that much-needed back massage, or when he doesn't complain about having to come get you in the rain because you blew a tire.

You can't see his feeling of love: what you are able to see is his loving behavior. So instead of saying that your husband doesn't love you, start by changing your own language: He isn't behaving in a loving manner or I don't feel loved when he does that.

Changing your thinking can go a long way to making you a happier woman in your relationship, and will very likely affect the way that your husband treats you. It will certainly change the way that you feel!

You can't make your husband love you, but you can change the energy in your relationship.

Changing the Environment in Your Home

In this hub, I'm not going to set you off on a frenzy to clean your house. I'm not going to set you to work making an elaborate meal for your husband or put you to work for months to lose a lot of weight. I am also not going to tell you that these things will have no effect in your relationship: they will. In this hub I want to address the key way that women can begin to change the energy in their relationship.

You might be reading this because you have a deep longing to be loved. I can understand that. As a woman, I have that same deep longing. We want it from our parents, from our husbands and from our children. We want to be loved, cherished and cared for (there are exceptions, and different ways women need to be cared for, however).

Most men aren't like that. Your husband isn't likely to fall apart if you don't rush to greet him at the door the moment he comes home from work. He probably isn't going to lose his mind if dinner isn't on the table at exactly the same time every single night. These things aren't going to make him feel unloved.

Your husband may not even be able to put his finger on his own need, but based on biblical tennets, researchers have been able to do so: Your husbandneeds respect.

Before you get all excited, please allow me to sympathize. I know you respect your husband! I know you appreciate him and that you love him! And I know just how crazy it is that he doesn't feel it!

Just like other men "know" how crazy it is that you don't know he loves you.

This is where we're mis-communicating, ladies. You know what your needs are, and he knows what his needs are. Most women assume that their husbands need to be loved the way that they need to be loved and most men assume that women need to be loved in the same way a man needs to be loved.

Sorry, it's just not true.

Now you can wait for him to figure out what you need and start adjusting to your needs. Or you can begin to meet his needs and see what happens. In most cases, if one partner makes a chance for the better, the spouse will follow in the right direction. I will talk a bit more about how to do that in a moment.

Your journey to feeling more loved by your husband is going to begin with you. You could be waiting for forever if you wait for him to get the help that he needs, so it's better if you're willing to be the help that he needs! If you are willing to show your husband respect, you will see a change in the environment in your home.

The change to your marriage almost invariably begins with a more peaceful living environment.

my husband does not love me

For a period of time I had a website about traditional marriage in terms of a Christian union and God's instructions for the married couple (man and woman). The site was doing quite well when I decided, for personal reasons, to remove it from the world wide web, and I always kept track of it, where the majority of hits were coming from and what search terms were bringing in the traffic.

I noticed that the search terms often seemed to reflect "my husband doesn't love me!" or "how can I make my husband love me?" My heart went out to these women who felt so lost and miserable, because I've been there. As a woman, I still frequently question my husband's love.

Many conversations with Christian men and women alike would indicate that this is probably because he just isn't "built for" love the way that I am. Men and women often stumble in the way in which they communicate with one another, and I have found that it is very easy for a man to look upon a woman with a man's understanding and for a woman to look upon a man with a woman's understanding.

I don't have all of the answers, ladies, but I do have some of them, and a good dose of sympathy to go along with them!

Every marriage has the potential to be a happy marriage -- but it does take work!

Your Marriage has Potential

Exchanging vows and rings isn't a guarantee of a successful marriage. I'm afraid that many men and women enter marriage believing that the vows themselves are enough to hold a marriage together. Granted, if two people take seriously those vows, then they are likely to remain married, but that doesn't mean that the marriage is necessarily "intact." Saying vows is not a guarantee that you are going to be happy in your marriage.

What your vows and your rings do mean is that your marriage has potential. Both individuals within the marriage have potential. You have the potential to succeed or the potential to crash and burn. By putting forth significant effort to make your relationship work, you bend the potential in the direction of a successful marriage.

However you may be feeling at the moment in your marriage, there is potential. You will find that if you put forth an effort towards improving and making your marriage work, that you will change the energy in your home and between yourself and your husband.

tips to show your wife that you love her 3

1. SET UP A SLIDE SHOW Pick out special photo memories from the time that you were dating to the present. Create a slide show with music. This is something that you can do together and can help keep you close.
2. DON'T RUSH SEX While the two of you are in the middle of the wonderful marital gift of sex, be careful not to rush it. Let your wife know that you're loving her, not just the moment.
3. DON'T BELITTLE HER OPINIONS If your wife has an opinion or an idea, thank her, and let her know that her thoughts are valuable. Don't act like her ideas are unintelligent or crazy.
4. CHERISH HER DIFFERENCES Your wife has a lot different make up than you and it shows in more ways than one. Not only in her body, but the way she thinks, or even the way she receives love are naturally just "different." Cherish these differences and don't try to change her.
5. BE DEVOTED TO HER HAPPINESSDo what you can to make your wife happy. You don't have to buy her the most expensive things or "spoil" her rotten, (though that's OK too). Usually a little goes a long way for most wives, and just giving a little attention now and then will make her feel loved and appreciated. You will find that if she's happy, she'll respond better to your needs as well.
6. REMINISCE YOUR WEDDING NIGHT Women like to remember special times. Bring up your wedding night and how it felt to have sex for the first time. Talk about your high school graduations or the day your kids were born.
7. MAKE HER LATE FOR BREAKFAST Wake her up by kissing her! Not only will this be a pleasant way to wake up, but she just might keep you there through breakfast!
8. MAKE A JOURNAL Start on her birthday or Christmas and write a love note or something special to your wife everyday for a year. At the end of the year, present it to her as a gift.
9. GIVE HER A NICKNAME Give her your own special name, like "Beautiful" or "Angel."
10. HAVE YOUR PHOTO MADE WITH HER Go have a professional, up-to-date photo done of the two of you. Try romantic scenes such as a park or waterfall.
11. GO ON A SECOND HONEYMOON Remember how special your honeymoon was? Take another one, and try to make it better than the first.
12. START A HOBBY TOGETHER Find a hobby that you both enjoy, such as horse back riding or tennis. Do it together as often as you can to help stay close.
13. HELP HER UNDRESS Help your wife with the buttons or snaps. Caress her gently as you help remove her clothing. Do it slowly, piece by piece.
14. SHOW HUMILITY Don't get a big head and think that you can't be touched with a ten foot pole. You wife wants you to be confident, but don't think that you're the master of all.
15. PROTECT HER Look after your wife making sure that she's not in any situations where she could be harmed physically or emotionally. This even includes verbal abuse from cantankerous family members. Always be quick to stand up for her in any given situation.
16. DON'T PUSH SEX Be considerate in the fact that sometimes your wife just won't feel like having sex. Remember, she's not rejecting you as a person if she turns you down. However, if she says no too often, try talking to her and making sure that she's not feeling insecure.
17. BE HER BEST FRIEND Be there for your wife at all times and in every situation. Let her feel confident enough to share anything with you.
18. BE THE CHEF Cook up a romantic meal for your wife. Even if you're not a cook, you can find something that you can make. Just follow the box or cookbook directions. Macaroni and cheese can be romantic if it comes from your heart. Just set the table with some candles and turn out the lights. What could be more romantic than eating macaroni and cheese in candlelight with an adoring husband who's tried so hard to please you?
19. GET RID OF IRRITATING HABITS Do you have a habit that bugs your wife?Try to take the necessary measures to stop it.
20. PLANT A GARDEN TOGETHER Whether it's a flower garden or a vegetable garden, growing things takes lots of work. Why not do it together? This will cut the work in half, and will be a great way to enjoy each other's company. Then when it's all said and done, enjoy the fruits of your labor by picking and eating the veggies, or decorating the table with the lovely flowers.
21. BUY A SEASON PASS Buy season passes to the zoo or a museum. The cost will only come once a year, so if you're a little tight on money at some point, you will always have a place to go that is fun and paid for.
22. DON'T BE A WORKAHOLIC!(Or any other kind of "holic" for that matter). Make sure there is always time to spend with your wife and family. In a few years, the money won't matter anyway, and you just have one chance at life. Make the most of it with the ones you love; don't live with regrets.
23. SLOW DANCE IN YOUR BEDROOM Turn on some romantic music, hold your wife close, and slow dance right in your own bedroom. Suggest lighting candles and dancing in the nude.
24. MAKE A LIST OF LOVE Make a list of every reason that you can think of that you love your wife and post it on the refrigerator.
25. SPEAK IN YOUR OWN CODE Create a secret code word for something that only the two of you know, and say it openly in public! It's like having your own secret language!
26. NIBBLE Pull your wife close and nibble her ear or lips. This will give her cold chills!
27. GRAB A KISS WHILE WAITING If you're at a stop light or in a long line at the drive-through, pull your wife close and grab a kiss. (Remember, at least six seconds, although you may want to go longer)!
28. TELL THE WORLD HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER Put a bumper sticker on your vehicle that says, "I Love My Wife," or put up a sign in your yard that says, "The Prettiest Lady In the World Lives Here."
29. JUST SAY THE WORDS Tell your wife everyday, several times a day, that you love her.

tips to show your wife that you love her

KEEP YOUR LOVE ALIVE BY PRACTICING DEMONSTRATIONS OF LOVE EVERYDAY! CHOOSE AT LEAST ONE TIP EVERYDAY. (THE MORE THE BETTER)!
You knew that she was special the moment you first laid eyes on her. It was a dream come true the day she said, "Yes!" Now that she belongs to you, it's easy to let your love life play second fiddle to your responsibilities. Not that you want it that way, it's just that life is so demanding. There is great news. By just taking a few moments of each day to fulfill the needs of your marriage, you and your wife can feel like newlyweds for life!

# LEAVE CANDY FOR HER TO FIND And I'm not talking about a 3 Musketeers bar. (Unless that's what she likes). Buy a pretty box of chocolates. Leave them in her car or some other place that she's sure to find them. Tuck a little "I love you" note inside to increase the effect.

# DON'T TEASE HER FOR PRIMPING She wants to look nice for you! If you constantly go on about how much time she spends on her hair or manicures, she may take it that you don't appreciate her femininity or her effort to look pretty. Let her know she's beautiful when she fixes herself up.

# KISS HER FOR AT LEAST 6 SECONDS Forget the little peck on your way out the door in the morning. Give her a kiss that will stay with her all day! Kissing for at least six seconds doesn't take that long but it makes for a much more meaningful kiss.

# HOLD HANDS Wives feel special when their husbands reach over and take their hand. It's just a simple gesture, but it goes a long way.

# MAIL HER A LETTER E-mail has its place, but for a woman, getting a letter in the mailbox addressed to her from her hubby...well now, that's just too romantic!

# LEAVE HER A TIP You'll leave the waitress a tip, but what about the lady who is there to wait on you 24/7? Surprise her as she clears the supper table; leave her a few dollars to show your appreciation.

# REENACT YOUR FIRST DATE Tell your wife that you're taking her out. Tell her that you think it would be fun to do everything just like you did on your first date then try to reenact it! The bonus is that you won't have to take her home to her father, you can take her home with you!

# DEDICATE A SONG TO HER Call your local radio station and have them to play a song for your sweetie! Tell them why you love her and her name, and have them to repeat it over the air!
# COMMUNICATE WITH HER Your wife wants in on your life. Tell her about your day or even your hopes and dreams for the future. Talk about the kids, or whatever happens to come to mind. Just communicate!

# WHISPER IN HER EAR Get close to your wife and whisper those sweet words of love in her ear. Try whispering something about your private love life in the middle of a public place and watch her blush!

# HAVE FLOWERS DELIVERED TO HER Take some time out of your lunch break to swing by the flower shop. Have the florist deliver her flowers to your home or at her place of work, or deliver them yourself!

# PUT YOUR ARM AROUND HER Put your arm around your wife while she's sitting next to you or while walking side by side.

# CARESS HER Gently caress your wife's hair with your hand or her face with your lips. She loves to feel your touch.

# PRIASE HER IN FRONT OF OTHERS Let your wife hear you brag on her while you're talking to others. She may blush or say something back, but secretly she's feeling proud that you're her man.

# PRAISE HER TO HER FACE Tell your wife that you appreciate all that she does and the love that she shows to you.

# TAKE HER ON A SURPRISE DATE Secretly arrange for someone to watch your children, if you have them, then surprise your wife by taking her out for a night that she'll not soon forget!

# SAY YOU'RE SORRY You're not too macho to say, "I'm sorry" if you're in the wrong. In fact you'll be a much bigger man if you do.

# LEAVE THE STRESS OF WORK AT WORK I'm not saying that you can't talk to your wife about your job or the things that bother you. I'm saying that if you've had a bad day, don't take it out on your wife and family. It's easy to be grumpy after a long day of work. Don't snap at the people who love you. If you need to vent your frustrations, talk them out with your wife. She'll be glad to lend an ear if you need to talk.

# DON'T HIDE ANYTHING FROM YOUR WIFE Be open and honest with your wife about everything. Keep an open line of communication between the two of you at all times. Keeping things from her, even small things, can hurt a relationship. If she should find out from another source, she would feel hurt and disappointed that you didn't feel like you could share with her. This could ultimately damage her trust in you as well.

# TAKE CARE OF THE CARS Make sure that your vehicles are in tip top shape at all times so your wife isn't left stranded. Don't expect her to go to the dirty garages to get the oil changed and repairs done, do them yourself, or take them in for her.

# COMPLIMENT HER Everyone needs a compliment now and then, but many wives need a little extra reassurance to make sure that she's still special in your eyes. A compliment won't cost you anything, but for your wife, it could be priceless!

# BUY HER A FEMININE GIFT Buy your wife a gift that will make her feel feminine, like her favorite perfume, or a pretty night gown.

# DON'T FORGET SPECIAL OCCASIONS Put it on your phone schedule, hang a calendar in your vehicle, do what you must, but DON'T forget your anniversary, her birthday, or Valentine's Day!
# ALWAYS KISS HER GOODNIGHT Never even close your eyes at night until you've kissed your wife goodnight. (For at least 6 seconds).
# FINISH HOME IMPROVEMENT PROJECTS Too many times husbands work so hard all week that they don't feel like keeping up the repairs at home. This is understandable, but remember, it often makes your wife's work harder too. If you could work on things for just awhile, and aim to finish at least one project per month, it could make your whole household run smoother.
# DON'T BE NEGATIVE Don't go around griping or nitpicking the things your wife does or don't do. Try to be more pleasant. Look on the positive side of things. When your negative, it makes everything look worse than it really is.
# TAKE A SHOWER TOGETHER Here's a way to get clean and have fun at the same time! Jump in the shower, mesh together, and do a lot of kissing! Be sensitive if your wife feels insecure, and make sure that you reassure her often.
# SHOW PATIENCE DURING HORMONAL TIMES If your wife gets a little hard to live with during certain times of the month, be patient. This is especially important too if she's pregnant or a new mother. She can't control her emotions very well during these times, and will need your support.
# ADMIT IT WHEN YOU'RE WRONG If you are in the wrong, admit it. Don't pass it off like it's no big deal, or make excuses for yourself.
# LOOK INTO HER EYES While talking to or hugging your wife, look her straight in the eyes while cupping her face in your hand. She may feel shy and try to look away, but don't confuse this in thinking she don't like it. Gently insist she look at you, then slowly lean down and kiss her. (For at least 6 seconds).
# SACRIFICE FOR HER Put aside something that you want so that you can give to your wife. Usually, this is what wives do. They'll put aside their own needs to make sure their family gets everything they need first. Make sure your wife is taking good care of herself too.
# WRITE HER A LOVE POEM Put your romantic thoughts into a rhyme that your wife will cherish forever! Not a poet? Just write down your feelings the best you can, she'll love it!
# GIVE HER A MASSAGE Grab the oil and lotion, then grab your wife! Give her a full body massage and help her relax. (Try to at least get past her shoulders before moving on to "other things)."
# PLAY A GAME TOGETHER Bring out the board games or play a game of tennis. Playing a game together can help keep the two of you close. If she beats you, admit it. Don't say, "Oh, I just let you win."
# CALL IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Don't make your wife worry about you, or let dinner get cold. Take out 5 minutes to phone her if you see you're going to be late.
# WASH THE DISHES FOR HER You don't have to clean the whole house, but just doing one chore such as the dishes once in a while, or at least cleaning up after yourself, will help her out a lot.
# PICK HER FLOWERS OK, you've sent her flowers, but why not pick some wildflowers yourself? Stop the car and pick some by the roadside, then gently tuck one behind your wife's ear and kiss her neck.
# TAKE HER TO A ROMANTIC PLAY Skip the movie and head out to a theatrical play. If there's not a good romantic one showing, find one with some good, clean humor.
# PLAY A KISSING GAME Lock lips and see who can hold out the longest!
# GIVE HER A NIGHT OFF Watch the kids while she heads out to shop for awhile. Throw in a few extra bucks so that she can buy herself something special.
# DON'T MENTION HER WEIGHT No matter what size your wife may be, bringing up her weight is definitely a no no.
# DONT ARGUE OVER FINANCES If money gets tight, be very careful not to argue or shift blame. Together, and in a business-like fashion, explore ways that you can pay off your debts. If things spin out of control, consider financial counseling. Your marriage is worth more than money.
# LEAVE LOVE NOTES IN UNEXPECTED PLACES Try leaving love notes in odd places that she'll be sure to see, such as under windshield wipers, inside the refrigerator, inside a CD case or even on toilet paper! A good example would be to put one on the light switch that says, "You turn me on."
# BE HONEST NEVER EVER lie to your wife, even if it seems harmless. Trust is one of the most important factors in a marriage - don't break it!
# RENEW YOUR WEDDING VOWSAlthough we know that the first vows are good for life, still, taking your wife to a chapel on your anniversary, or any day, and renewing your vows will let her know that you'd marry her all over again.