the place of communication

Communication in a marriage is absolutely essential. If communication breaks down between married persons, the marriage may appear to be doomed to fail. Many people don't know the basics of good communication, and it is very easy for it to break down during a fight.

You have a need to be loved, and your husband may not be meeting it. The truth is that he might either not know how intense your need is or he might not be aware that he isn't meeting it! The key is to respectfully convey your need to him in order to get it met.

Try "XYZ statements."

"When X happens, I feel Y when you Z."

These are also known as "I statements."

The point is that you don't put the person to whom you are speaking "on the spot." You take the pressure off of them by making the statement about you and how you feel. For example, my husband and I have been arguing about which cell phone service we should have. He is arguing that we shouldn't have a cell phone at all, and I feel that we should, but opt for the cheapest plan possible. Because he is the head of our household and makes the decisions, he's put his foot down. I'm feeling frustrated, unheard and unloved. So I say something like this:

"When we're discussing an issue, I feel unheard and unloved when you don't listen to my point of view. Would you please hear what I have to say about why I feel we need a cell phone?"

This very often helps to cool down an argument as well as making the other person more receptive to hearing what you have to say.

It is also worth pointing out that most men will hear the words "would you" as more respectful than "could you" and you should always try to use the grammatically correct words in this case as it will effect the way he hears what you're saying to him!