6. Make your sleep peaceful-largo
What you do the last 30 minutes before retiring often determines how restful your sleep will be and how much in harmony you will feel in the morning. One father tells the story of when he was leading a high-profile work project with an incredible workload. He would go to sleep only when he was utterly exhausted. Then it seemed he was wrestling with images of his problems even in his dreams. If he woke up in the middle of the night his mind would start whirring and it would be difficult to go back to sleep. His life was dissonant and its tempo out of control.
Then he started taking a break to put his kids to bed with prayers, stories, and songs. It felt peaceful to do so. Even though it was only 9:00 p.m. he often would fall fast asleep and rest peacefully. It was not uncommon for him to get up at 4:00 a.m. and be rested and productive. Both his work and his kids were better off. 7
7. Simplify your life-compose a modest melody
Voluntary simplicity-deliberately choosing to accumulate fewer possessions and engage in fewer activities-is a key to finding harmony in a busy life.8 With fewer voices in the score, it is easier to produce harmony. We live in a materialistic society where we acquire many gadgets and toys. These things have a high cost in time as well as money. When we have too much, we run the risk of obscuring the simple but powerful life melody we hope to compose. One easy way to moderate materialism is to stay out of debt. My father always told me, "There are two kinds of people in the world: those that pay interest and those that understand interest." He taught me, "Pay 10 percent to the Lord, 10 percent to your own savings plan, and live on the rest." Buy less, do less, and do fewer things at the same time. Look for a way to compose a life of modest means and focused time.
In summary, if we use harmony for our metaphor instead of balance, it may be more possible to compose a magnificent symphony of life where we find peace and shout "Hallelujah." Instead of "struggling at juggling," maybe we can seek for harmony as we both provide for and nurture our families.
E. Jeffrey Hill, Ph.D., is an associate professor of Marriage, Family, and Human Development at Brigham Young University.
References:
1. S. D. Friedman, P. Christensen, and J. DeGroot, "Work and life: The end of the zero-sum game." Harvard Business Review 76(6), 119-129 (1998).
2. D. S. Carlson, M. E. Kacmar, and L. P. Stepina, "An examination of two aspects of work/family conflict: time and identity." Women in Management Review 10, 17-25 (1995).
3. John P. Robinson and Geoffrey Godbey, Time for Life: The Surprising Ways Americans Use Their Time (University Park, PA: The Pennsylvania State University Press, 1999).
4. E. Jeffrey Hill, "Take a Vacation and Make it a Real One," Deseret News C03 (February 10, 2000).
5. E. J. Hill, A. J. Hawkins, and B. C. Miller, "Work and Family in the Virtual Office: Perceived Influences of Mobile Telework. Family Relations 45, 293-301 (1996).
E. J. Hill, B. C. Miller, S. P. Weiner, and J. Colihan, "Influences of the Virtual Office on Aspects of Work and Work/life Balance." Personnel Psychology 51, 667-683 (1998).
6. E. Jeffrey Hill, "Balancing Family and Work," in Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family, edited by David C. Dollahite (Salt Lake City, UT: Bookcraft) 202-205.
7. E. Jeffrey Hill, "Drawing specific inspiration from the proclamation," in Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family, edited by David C. Dollahite (Salt Lake City, UT: Bookcraft) 14-15.
8. Beth Brophy, "Stressless-and simple-in Seattle: It's at the epicenter of `voluntary simplicity.'" U.S. News and World Report (online). Available at:
http://www.usnews.com/usnews/issue/simple.htm
What you do the last 30 minutes before retiring often determines how restful your sleep will be and how much in harmony you will feel in the morning. One father tells the story of when he was leading a high-profile work project with an incredible workload. He would go to sleep only when he was utterly exhausted. Then it seemed he was wrestling with images of his problems even in his dreams. If he woke up in the middle of the night his mind would start whirring and it would be difficult to go back to sleep. His life was dissonant and its tempo out of control.
Then he started taking a break to put his kids to bed with prayers, stories, and songs. It felt peaceful to do so. Even though it was only 9:00 p.m. he often would fall fast asleep and rest peacefully. It was not uncommon for him to get up at 4:00 a.m. and be rested and productive. Both his work and his kids were better off. 7
7. Simplify your life-compose a modest melody
Voluntary simplicity-deliberately choosing to accumulate fewer possessions and engage in fewer activities-is a key to finding harmony in a busy life.8 With fewer voices in the score, it is easier to produce harmony. We live in a materialistic society where we acquire many gadgets and toys. These things have a high cost in time as well as money. When we have too much, we run the risk of obscuring the simple but powerful life melody we hope to compose. One easy way to moderate materialism is to stay out of debt. My father always told me, "There are two kinds of people in the world: those that pay interest and those that understand interest." He taught me, "Pay 10 percent to the Lord, 10 percent to your own savings plan, and live on the rest." Buy less, do less, and do fewer things at the same time. Look for a way to compose a life of modest means and focused time.
In summary, if we use harmony for our metaphor instead of balance, it may be more possible to compose a magnificent symphony of life where we find peace and shout "Hallelujah." Instead of "struggling at juggling," maybe we can seek for harmony as we both provide for and nurture our families.
E. Jeffrey Hill, Ph.D., is an associate professor of Marriage, Family, and Human Development at Brigham Young University.
References:
1. S. D. Friedman, P. Christensen, and J. DeGroot, "Work and life: The end of the zero-sum game." Harvard Business Review 76(6), 119-129 (1998).
2. D. S. Carlson, M. E. Kacmar, and L. P. Stepina, "An examination of two aspects of work/family conflict: time and identity." Women in Management Review 10, 17-25 (1995).
3. John P. Robinson and Geoffrey Godbey, Time for Life: The Surprising Ways Americans Use Their Time (University Park, PA: The Pennsylvania State University Press, 1999).
4. E. Jeffrey Hill, "Take a Vacation and Make it a Real One," Deseret News C03 (February 10, 2000).
5. E. J. Hill, A. J. Hawkins, and B. C. Miller, "Work and Family in the Virtual Office: Perceived Influences of Mobile Telework. Family Relations 45, 293-301 (1996).
E. J. Hill, B. C. Miller, S. P. Weiner, and J. Colihan, "Influences of the Virtual Office on Aspects of Work and Work/life Balance." Personnel Psychology 51, 667-683 (1998).
6. E. Jeffrey Hill, "Balancing Family and Work," in Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family, edited by David C. Dollahite (Salt Lake City, UT: Bookcraft) 202-205.
7. E. Jeffrey Hill, "Drawing specific inspiration from the proclamation," in Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family, edited by David C. Dollahite (Salt Lake City, UT: Bookcraft) 14-15.
8. Beth Brophy, "Stressless-and simple-in Seattle: It's at the epicenter of `voluntary simplicity.'" U.S. News and World Report (online). Available at:
http://www.usnews.com/usnews/issue/simple.htm
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